The new supermom leaps from tall buildings wearing high heels. Can have coffee in the car without spilling it on her new pretty green dress. Brings home the salmon, bakes it in the oven. In the meantime, sets the table in a matter of minutes. She tucks the kids in bed, reads them a story, turns down the light and kisses them Goodnight. She sprints to her bed, snuggling up with her partner as she closes her eyes and prays for total silence.
Is it possible to have a career and family? Heck Yeah!!! I know my mom and my mother-in-law (God rest her soul), did it all! Both of these mama’s cooked, cleaned, worked, and yes, raised a family. Not only were they homemakers and mothers, but savvy career women. Although our mothers never met, they both had one thing in common; they were fortunate enough to bring their kids to work. Bobby, my hubby grew up in the restaurant business, and I grew up in a film production industry. My husband and I were fortunate to tag along to work at such an early age. It was an unforgettable experience and inspiring for us both.
While mothers today worry about not being able to handle both a career and family, I’m here to reassure you, that you can! However, the main key is to let go of the fear and guilt. Once the fear and guilt are put aside, finding a balance is on top priority. I often asked myself how was I going to have a career and family? I wanted to travel, build a business and thought if I have a family I would not be able to achieve my goals. Changing my mind set to “I can do both” became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Focus on what needs to be accomplished and set goals. I like to start with family goals, planning our week and making sure to stick to a routine, dedicating some “us” time into the schedule is highly essential. The schedule should include who picks-up the kids from their activities. Take note; there is little evidence showing us that you are a great mom or dad if you are involved with your child 24/7 or for that matter, a child needs to participate in every sport and extracurricular activity. Participation in many activities may result in anxiety for the child as well as the parent. Only take on what you and your child can handle, it is more critical to create warm memories than trying to create a tri-athlete or super jock.
Map out your career goals, set the hours that you will need each day by incorporating a task list for your career journey. Time spent on the job should be time well-spent laser focus and minimal distractions.
I know the guilt of leaving your kids to pursue your career can be emotional and overwhelming. Let go of the guilt! Have a support system in place, such as a partner or a close trusted friend or family member that may love to help. From time to time my parents dropped me off at my grandfather’s furniture store which served as a support system and a huge milestone in my career. Some workplaces may offer a daycare program where your child may be a floor away, take advantage of such perks.
Finally, just because you don’t spend every hour with your child does not make you less of a parent and more of a career person. Remember it is the quality of time spent with family rather than the quantity of time. If you put your mind to it you’ll find balance in both career and family, as a new supermom I wouldn’t have it any other way.
by: Vanessa Deleon Bournias